In place of this strange word ‘Mindfulness’ we can use the words ‘Awareness’ or ‘Presence’ and capture something of the same meaning. Mindfulness is not this mystical thing that you only get when you sit cross-legged on mountain tops. You will already be ‘doing’ Mindfulness without even knowing it. For example, we can all be aware and we can all feel presence, and in fact we might say frequently about ourselves that we are ‘aware’ or that we are ‘present’ at any given time without trying to be. Mindfulness is simply this; an universally experienced human ability to be aware of oneself in the present moment, non-judgmentally; something we are all already doing at different times in our lives without even knowing in those moments we are being ‘Mindful’.
You may be thinking, ‘so what?’ or ‘why is this helpful?’. Well, the problem is most of us are not ‘aware’ or ‘present’ nearly as much as we could be in our lives and this can result in us losing ourselves in the drama (or tragedy) of our thinking, feeling and physical discomforts, repeating unhelpful or down-right harmful habits of thought and behaviour as a result. When we are aware of ourselves we have freedom to choose how to be.
My favourite way of describing Mindfulness is to use an analogy of a fast flowing river with calm banks either side. Our lives are increasingly fast, frenetic, full and our living is non-stop, no-time, on-the-go. We can get lost in the pace of modern day living, we can get swept away by the river of it all. Equally, we can get carried away by the river of our thinking (our rumination over the past and our worrying about the future), by the pull of our emotions and by our habitual behaviour. When we are Mindfully aware of ourselves we are not being swept away by the river, we are sitting on the calm banks of the river observing it all, noticing it all come and go. This is to say that the river still exists, but at any given moment we can choose to step out of it; seeing the river, not getting lost within the river.
What isn’t Mindfulness
There are many myths and misconceptions about Mindfulness. Here’s a few of the top of my head:
- Mindfulness is all about Relaxation: not really. It is true that some people experience feelings of relaxation as a result of being mindful, but equally you may become more aware of how stressed you actually are when you become Mindfully aware of yourself.
- Mindfulness is a Technique: well, you can ‘use’ Mindfulness in this way if you like, however I would suggest that may not work out so well in the long run for you. For me, this way of thinking of things as if they are accessories or auxiliary techniques; ‘add-ons’, ‘life hacks’, feels like a problematic societal product. Being Mindful is a way of being, an orientation to living in a certain way, a constant not a supplement.
- Mindfulness is just another word for meditation: No, ‘Mindfulness’ is a state of being. It is purely awareness. You don’t necessarily have to meditate to experience Mindfulness. However, if Mindfulness is the muscle, then meditation is the workout. If you want to become more muscly then you have to do the workouts.
- Mindfulness is about clearing your head of all thoughts: I’m not sure this is possible. How would you go about not thinking? I imagine you would have to become preoccupied with trying not to think, but then you’d be thinking ‘don’t think’. Our minds are always throwing out messages to grab our attention, it’s what mind’s do. Practising Mindfulness is about allowing and accepting, not about denying and pushing away.
What are the benefits of Mindfulness?
There are numerous benefits to living more Mindfully. If you’re someone who can be prone to feelings of overwhelm or underwhelm, Mindfulness practice may help you regulate your stress response, feel a sense of increased resilience and capacity to tolerate life’s challenges. You may find that your sleep improves, you are less anxious, less depressed, less irritable and less impulsive. You may find that you become more compassionate and patient with yourself and others, that you increasingly notice the ‘good’ as well as the ‘bad’ in everyday living and that you feel a greater sense of gratitude for what you have in life. You may find that you are better able to manage chronic pain and fatigue conditions, have more tolerance to discomfort and more able to change unwanted habits of behaviour.
Mike Glenister-Marshall 